If I Were You, I'd Never Let It Stop Me
by Drops of Moonlight
Summary: A young she-cat lives on an island with her Clan, FogClan. Her name is Smallpaw, and she often believes she's crazy, but believes she does the right thing. But when a "big fish" is seen preying on cats in her Clan, she is dropped off the edge. She never lets anyone see what she thinks... I'm bad at writing summaries, but it's first person and it's a pretty progressive idea so far.


"Come on, Smallkit!" My brother's voice echoed in my ears as I opened my eyes to freezing cold, battering winds.

_It was just another dream… _I thought with an exasperated sigh. FogClan was going through a particularly bad season of rain and winds. It didn't help that we lived near a beach…

I thought back to my dream again. It was another reliving of my brother's death. We were playing in the water near the beach and island palms where we lived. Our mother was with us, and my brother went too far out. A huge fish pulled him under and we never saw him again… There was no blood, only his screech as his body plunged under.

I remember my mother's caterwaul, but I was so young, about only three or four moons old, even though I was still aware somewhat. I didn't miss him – he wasn't that important to me anyway. It was still distressing to see my mother at her wits end.

That's why I had to put an end to her misery. I snuck poisonous spider venom into her prey. No one knows that night what was happening as she screamed in agony as her nervous system shut down.

I'm sure I'll still go to StarClan for what I did. It was only for her good – no matter how much I felt horrid for my action. I can't take it back, now, anyway.

I'm an apprentice of FogClan. My name is Smallpaw. Most cats tell me my eyes are the vivid blue-green of the sea against a bright brown tabby pelt. They say I remind them of the crashing, unforgiving waves.

They also say I'm unusually smart for a nine moon year-old. I'm due for my warrior ceremony soon, but I don't believe that helped me any. I'm not particularly admired in my Clan, but my father is the deputy and they still treat me with respect.

My father is beginning to slowly break. His kit and my mother died. He's never blamed me out loud, but I can tell by his eyes and how he doesn't want to talk to me that he's suspicious.

I don't have to worry about that, though. He'll be dead someday, too. Just like me. It's just not StarClan's time for me yet.

I often think I might be a little out of my mind when I start hearing the voices in my head tell me to do things, like kill my father. I refuse to do those terrible actions.

I'm sure every cat has voices in their head sometimes. I asked my friend, Sandpaw, if she did, but she stopped talking to me.

I don't know why everyone laughs at me when I try to talk to her now. All the other apprentices hate me. It's better that I'm the oldest in the den and I'll be a warrior soon.

"Smallpaw! It's time to start your assessment!" Sundrop's voice awoke me.

"Great! I'll be out soon!" I called to my mentor, bounding outside the apprentice den. Sandpaw and Rainpaw flashed me a look and Rainpaw murmured something to Sandpaw. I rolled my eyes, following my mentor diligently outside the camp.

"Alright, so the first thing you must do is your hunting assessment. We cleared your fighting yesterday, remember? It was wonderful. Now, I need you to do the same thing with hunting. I know you're not very good at it, but the first time you tried you caught that squirrel. After that, it's been very hard for you, but I believe in you. Got it?" Sundrop mewed with a flick of her tail.

I nodded, not really thinking. "When do I start?" I mewed.

"Now!" Sundrop mewed, diving into the bushes.

I raced through the tropical forest immediately, the humidity causing me to sweat. Oddly enough, there was forest prey on this tropical land. I never understood why.

I lifted my nose to the air, parting my jaws to allow the scents to come clear to me.

_Salt, fish, squirrel, vole, mouse... _I decided to head toward the beach where I could easily wade out and catch a fish or two.

After a while of walking, I reached the beach and waded out quite far and poised myself for the flash of silver that indicated a fish.

_But no puffer fish… _I told myself, remembering the one time when my father's brother brought one back to camp and a queen shared it with her mate and they both died of poisoning soon after.

_Wait, _I thought to myself. _Sundrop told me never to catch fish alone. _I lifted my nose to the air, trying to catch her scent among the salt as something clamped onto my legs. I let out a yowl as it ripped through my flesh.

"H-Help!" I screeched, sobbing as I noticed my blood seeping out. My eyes widened as the large fish's teeth snapped in my face. I tried to scramble away, but that only made it worse. The big fish snapped at me again, trying to grab onto my legs again as I quickly scrambled onto the beach, breathing heavily. I saw it try to beach itself to get to me, and I scooted back nearer towards the trees. Both of my back legs were broken. My whole body was almost numb to the core. I was in shock. I glanced at my legs, seeing the blood seep into the sand and the fragments of bone that poked out from my battered flesh and passed out, the pain coming back again in crashing waves…


End file.
